Like I mentioned in a previous post, it's not easy talking about suicide - especially if you are directly involved on either end of that very sharp stick. I have been on both and a lot of splinters in between. I said it was time to talk about suicide and all of its branches that… Continue reading OK, I’ll Open My Big Mouth First…
It's never easy talking about things that make us look weak in others' eyes. Like suicide, like depression - we know it is seen as ' not coping' so we say nothing. Saying nothing means nothing can change. The same negative thoughts, the same repetitive hate talk, the same triggers to feeling overwhelmed don't go… Continue reading The Game
Time to talk
When I got away from the place where I had been raped, I walked home. I had my horse with me but I couldn't ride him. I just stumbled my way home through snot and tears. My horse kept nudging me as he had never seen me like this. I can't explain fully what was… Continue reading Attempt #1 – Method and Madness (Firstly the madness that led me there)
Worthlessness Hopeless Burden Internal spiritual pain (constant Hell) Helpless Tired of life/exhausted No joy Financially overwhelmed Emotionally overwhelmed Numb Spite Revenge Making a statement Fury Desperation ... I have tried to find a way that this could actually be made into a discussion board but it does not seem possible! If you can add more… Continue reading Why?
I was two weeks off my 13th birthday - so yeah, I was 12 years old. We lived in South Africa at the time when I was raped by a 27 year old American man that I sort of knew. That was the first time I thought about killing myself. I was still thoughtful although… Continue reading Attempt #1
I remember sitting on the edge of my parents double bed upstairs. I had a little pearl handled gun in my lap. I was sobbing my heart out. I truly felt worthless, unwanted, damaged and broken. I was sad that I would miss all of my family and hurt them but I didn't want to… Continue reading Attempt # 1 Method (s)
I had to do six months of research on suicide once. I'm not going to get into statistical mumbo-jumbo in this piece, this is about my experience during this time and what I felt and understood from that experience. Sitting at my desk for at least eight hours a day, reading about how people had… Continue reading Carrying Souls